Why do I believe?

One of my favourite bloggers recently posted about his foundational reason to believe in God. To me, that is a very important question to reflect upon. Blind faith can be very dangerous; it can lead to fundamentalism, extremism, and the refusal to question one’s own attitudes and actions.

Why do I believe?

I have always believed in the existence of God. It may have been the result of a vaguely Christian upbringing; in any case, believing in God came as naturally to me as the belief that my mother loved me. Like so many people, I look at the breath-taking awesomeness of the universe and I can only believe Someone is somehow at the source of it all.

When I started looking into Christianity more closely, at the age of 18, rational arguments, literary parables and personal experience all played a part in my conversion. The course I attended argued that the New Testament can be considered historically reliable; maybe more so than most ancient texts. At the same time, I read C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia, and Aslan’s offering his own life for Edmund’s vividly illustrated Christ’s death on the cross to me. And, as explained in my post, the turning point was praying and experiencing an inner conviction that the gospel was true.

Over the years, I have seen and experienced suffering, and I have wrestled with many texts in the Bible that I find difficult to stomach. I constantly try to understand it all better, and constantly question the way I have been interpreting things. Yet there is one event that has sustained my trust in God all these years.

In my early twenties, I visited a Christian community in Germany and a preacher addressed the issue of God’s love. Can there really be a God of love, in a world so full of suffering, or is He some cosmic tyrant enjoying our pain? His proposed answer was simple, yet compelling to me: “You can die for your children, not for your toys.”

I am convinced that Jesus really was God incarnate, because it permeates through every page of the gospels. That incarnate God willingly let humans kill Him in the most gruesome way, and claimed to do it out of love for us. There may be many things I don’t understand, struggle with, and feel confused about. I may wrestle with issues and cry out to God, “Why?” I may not have it all figured out. But because Jesus lived and died, I am convinced of this: there is a God, and He cares.

Faith does give me a sense of purpose, of being loved and cared for no matter the circumstances. But the reason I believe boils down to one person. Jesus of Nazareth.